The New Providence Middle/High School contains numerous iconic items and symbols throughout its premises. When interviews were conducted on the topic, before ‘the incident’, numerous students reported that one of the most emblematic items across the school was the large five foot cactus in the main hallway. Upon questioning further, it was revealed that there were mixed feelings on the plant. Some found it incredibly humorous, while others found it strange. However, if you visit the New Providence Middle/High School nowadays, no matter how hard you look, the oddity of a plant will be nowhere to be found. The reason is as follows: Just a few days ago, an innocent happy-go-lucky schoolchild was walking towards the auditorium for their drama class when they suddenly tripped and got impaled with the somewhat beloved cactus. It is quite possibly the strangest and most brutal event to ever occur on the campus. Following the injury, an anonymous staff member reportedly rushed outside, cleared his throat a couple of times and then immediately broke down in tears as a result of the tragedy. The anonymous child was rushed to the ER, and suffered immensely. They needed 470 stitches, and life-saving surgery with a team of 70 surgeons. Miraculously, they survived.
We spoke to their parents a week after the incident: “Obviously, I am just devastated at this event, and even more angry at the school,” said the child’s father. “Who in their right mind would install a giant, dangerous cactus in the middle of a school hallway? I get like…succulents, or whatever, but cactuses?” After correcting him on his pluralization of the word cactus, we asked to speak to his wife. However, she had apparently shut down after the event and had stopped speaking ever since. “She is in shambles,” as said by the father.
We spoke to the school board to discuss the consequences of this tragedy that occurred. “This is a liability,” said the head of the board. “That is certain. However, we can probably settle it with the right amount of moola.” Another member admittedly added: “We do understand […] there is no way to prevent this. A cactus is a dangerous plant. It was to be expected.” The case will be taken to court next Tuesday. Follow The Scallion for further updates.
