New Providence Middle School– School administrators today have announced a brand new policy in order to increase levels of student morale and productivity: playing the hit Pixar movie Inside Out every marking period. “It’s a brilliant idea I think. I really like this movie and it really hits close to home as I imagine little tiny colored people arguing with each other in a person’s brain,” says one school administrator.
Many students don’t welcome the change however. “I really hate this stupid [REDACTED] [REDACTED] movie. We’ve literally watched it like 76 billion [REDACTED] times I mean c’mon man it’s about this stupid [REDACTED] girl who has depression because they move to this goofy [REDACTED] horror film house in the crime-ridden [REDACTED] that we call “California,” goes one student who wishes to remain anonymous.
Many parents support this new change and think that the best course of action is to burn the movie into their brains. The high school drama production team has also considered running a musical version of Inside Out.
Another student also voiced his opinion about the film and stated the unpleasant viewing experience as a main driving factor for their dislike of the film, “I mean the first time we watched this stupid movie was on YouTube with our technologically illiterate teacher just searching it up and clicking on the first result. As he realized this terrible mistake as major portions of the entire movie were missing, he went to some random livestream of 70s music with a chat filled with bots spamming links to adult websites. Overall 3/10 viewing experience”. School administrators have unwavering support for this decision however and say that it’ll help them “bond with the youth and connect with the hip and cool teens”. Students claim that they’re [REDACTED] insane” and “out of touch”.
Regardless of student protests, school administrators are going full speed with the plan and are moving to initiate it after the first marking period ends this week. This comes right next to when the town will be voting for the $22.2 million referendum which our journalists have uncovered to have included an $876,000 grant going to funding copies of Inside Out on DVD as the teachers have yet to learn that you can watch a DVD more than once.
