In a stunning new discovery that has left both the scientific community and the public scratching their heads, sources within the federal government have disclosed that President Donald Trump has been secretly funneling taxpayer dollars into a controversial project to “make mice transgender.” The project, which was originally thought to be a genetic modification experiment aimed at creating transgenic mice (mice with DNA from other species), has now been revealed to be a shady mad science experiment.
Despite the project’s official title of “transgenic mouse research,” the reality, which was exposed by an anonymous whistleblower, is far more outlandish. Trump, who was thought to have mistakenly claimed last week that the government was spending $8 million “making mice transgender,” is now accused of using the project as a hidden method to fund what has been described as an “unauthorized, underground transgender animal initiative.”
According to inside sources, the Trump administration’s science and technology division had originally started the project and requested government funding under the guise of advancing crucial cancer research, including the development of disease-resistant rodents that could potentially be useful in humans. However, it quickly became clear that the primary objective was something far stranger: gender transitions for the mice.
“Once you start genetically modifying organisms, you can never stop,” said Dr. John, a biologist involved in the project, who is now facing scrutiny from federal investigators.
The Secret “Trump Mice Transgender Program”
The Scallion’s top reporters have revealed that the codename for this operation is known as the “Trump Mice Transgender Program” or TMTP for short.
Another jarring side effect of the scandal is the controversy among the conservatives, who have been known to oppose the LGBTQ+ community in the past.
In a private Scallion interview, Belinda Williams, an radical rightist claimed that “This is more than just about science—this is a political statement. How can we let our government spend our hard-earned taxpayer dollars just to switch the genders of some rodents? Next thing we know, we’ll be adopting these mice as citizens! Send them back to their own country! I thought my Donald John President was better than this!”
The program’s funding has been intentionally hidden from public view. While most government research funding reports suggest it is simply an experiment in genetic research, investigative reports show that a substantial amount of the allocated funds has been diverted to this controversial gender transition project. Trump’s involvement remains murky, with some alleging that his private interest in the project goes far beyond simple scientific curiosity.
“This is Completely Legal,” Says Trump Supporter
Despite the uproar, a source close to Trump insisted that the former president’s support for the program is not only lawful but a personal initiative to address issues of gender fluidity in a peculiar way.
“We all know that Donald Trump likes to make headlines, but when it comes to gender issues, he’s been ahead of the curve for years,” said a longtime Trump ally who spoke under condition of anonymity. “Trump recognizes the importance of inclusivity and wanted to support a future where even the smallest of creatures can explore their gender identity.”
Others, however, are calling for a full investigation. “This is not about progress—it’s about power and control,” said Senator Andy Kim (D-NJ). “The idea that the Trump administration was secretly spending millions to alter the gender of mice without public knowledge is a gross violation of public trust. We are demanding an immediate audit and investigation into how this could have happened.”
Trump’s Motives and Concerns
Why would the President be interested in experimenting on the transition surgeries for mice? One anonymous man we found on the street thinks he has the answer.
“My theory is that Trump is interested in transitioning himself,” he says, “I mean, think about it. $8 million? Who else would think to go below the law to research this technology if he wasn’t interested in personal gain!”
As for Trump himself, he has remained publicly quiet on the issue, opting instead to post cryptic messages on social media, calling the uproar “fake news” and “rigged”, thus dismissing any concerns as baseless attacks from political opponents.
In the meantime, the mice subjected to the experiment remain under observation at a classified facility with their futures uncertain.
Will the world soon be seeing transgender mice in their local animal shelters? Only time will tell.
Stay tuned for further developments in this unfolding scandal.
