Government bunker discovered under local supermarket; Dates to Cold War

If you were to google the town “New Providence, New Jersey” before the year 2021, not much would appear. It was an exceptionally normal metropolis, with the only noteworthy facts being its small size and strange obsession with mayor, Al Morgan, as he has been the town mayor for over twenty years. But when local teens were hanging in town like any other today, everything would change. John JenkinMan and his group of seven friends went to skateboard and perform other stereotypical teenager activities on March 26, 2021 behind the popular supermarket location ACME. Once they were tired of performing such shenanigans, they allegedly went to hang on the roof of a tiny parking garage adjacent to the backside of ACME and right side of CVS. “We weren’t doin’ nothin’ wrong, fam litty!” shouted JenkinMan. “Ralphy was walking along the roof when he fell right darn through it!” The roof below him collapsed and the boy found himself at the bottom of a large underground structure. The rest of the friends went down as well to aid their dearest friend Ralphy and investigate for themselves. Ralphy, who had taken a gracious fall, had suffered from a jaw-shattering, mind bogglingly tragic twisted ankle. They carried him as they explored the wide, metal plated hallways. Minutes later, they were faced with a ladder going another level down. What it led to would shock them forevermore. It was a bunker stocked with canned beans and spam, an old radio, a map, a boy-scout book, a medical kit, and many weapons. Historians and various scientists are still confused. One small group of Tuvalu-born scientists traced the structure all the way back to the Cold War. In just days, hundreds of scientists wearing white lab coats lined up outside of the dungeon-like building. Although it took them a month and a half, they eventually found a large, obvious etching in the wall directly in front of them that read ‘My name is Walter Higgins, from the cold war and I own this here bunker.’ Up until then, they had no idea who it belonged to. Various antique items are currently being sold in auction.